Saturday, March 14, 2009

Pleasing the Snakes

I dreamt last night that every guy before him who ever dicked me-literally or figuratively-was suspended from a frozen stand of monkey bars, their feet centimeters from thirsty snakes. Each time a hand began to slip from a bar, a serpent would eagerly flick its tongue and flex its structure to prepare for the bulging meal. Every one of these assholes pleaded their case, flashed a come-on, and reminded me of their affection.

I hated to see the snakes go hungry, but letting these idiots hang was far more enjoyable and torturing than the long fangs slicing through. I also didn't feel the snakes deserved such toxins in their digestive tract.

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