I Wanted......

When he kissed me upon coming back from the market, my mind flashed with shadow smells of other people - long blonde hair, roasted soy nuts; punk hairdo, cart stand hog dog with sauerkraut and chili; there was henna, balding, streaked, tall, stocky, bulimic, medicated...... chicken pizza and carrot juice and diet soda with lemon and gummi bears and mochas with whipped cream and onion bagel with a smear of vegetable cream cheese - I could taste all of it as it flashed- sparkling water, winterfresh gum, citrus mouthwash, swirls of toothpaste, early day alcohol, peanut butter power bars, menthol cigarettes....

I smelled the acetone from newly painted nails; perfumed body splashes; fruity shampoos and conditioners; facial scrubs, shaving creams, deodorants, and everything else put into daily morning rituals. When I closed my eyes to snuggle into him I knew sadness, lust, giddy romance, jealousy, revenge, excitement, humdrum contentment, impatience, uncertainty, fear, boredom, snippets of what other customers must have felt as they shopped.

I refocused on the aromas at home and at that moment finally felt hungry - the first tinge in almost a full week. I wanted to actually bite into all of the foods and drinks I had just experienced. I also wanted to drown deeper into the emotions.........