Need to Shed Fears

Nevvie had ground turkey - I caved and tasted some-oh how horribly bland it was! Sprinkled salt on it, and it tasted like fluff rolled in dry mouth spice. It literally was dead meat. Ezekiel had asked me to choose dinner, if I felt up to it...and I froze. How to admit that what I really crave after this fast or whatever the hell it is is to dive into peoples' souls?

The lack of food must be catching up to me - fucking with my brain - maybe it somehow kickstarted my clairvoyance, how I could read everything, about where he was, but now it had taken a turn...I wanted to tell him - he already knew so much, much more than others never had the privilege, or at least not so quickly.

He will understand. We would chuckle and shake our heads and fall into bed before again questioning what to eat. Fuck - I can't fuck this up.

I gave the turkey one more snatch, rolled into spices and cheese, hoping to quell my nerves and talk to him. Still tasted empty. He walked behind me and took the container from my hands. Caught in the putrid act....ssssssssshhhhhh, he cooed, kissing my forehead, caressing my cheeks....lips.....nuzzling my hair and shoulders......gently pressing on the point on my neck where he had first let the red flow. I saw the snow again, spinning into crimson before it sprayed the ground......

In his arms I saw all that was and all that is and all that could be, that he could show and teach me. He knew the raw turkey was wrong because it had already lost its essence. The blood it soaked in was drivel; watered down juice. It no longer represented anything worthwhile, any semblance of life ebbing into the death circle and somersaulting for rebirth. It was waste, sewer sludge, an inferior imitation. No wonder the meat lacked any natural flavor - it had lain in refrigerated packaging for far too long.

He knew, as with everything else.....I should have known, should have believed, there was never a need to hide anything. The fire in his fingers could not have re-assured any greater, now drawing down my back.....my legs......making me fall and open.......

I needed to put flesh to the abstract. I needed to comprehend these puzzles. I needed to shed my fears.