Wolf Waiting

The wolves were waiting, panting as I struck the matches and brought their escapes further into the room. They knew I could hold ground with them, that I represented the same dusk that their Mother, my Mother, did. Ready for the hunt tonight – initiation to prove I could go beyond Ezekiel, that this wasn’t lightheaded whimsy. She rose upon the slight invocation, bringing crackle leaved wind leading to whoever I chose – whoever would win the door prize of my dance tonight.

Coming Alive

He stayed in the living room perfecting another masterpiece, while the wolves and their Lady visited upstairs. Such was the presence he had become invisible. And Nevvie did as was her newly adopted custom – she stayed curled up by his materials, as desirous of his constant touch as her mother. The wolves knew what lay next for me – the Goddess offered Her Lover when I strengthened, when I completely comprehended the journey. My hair was drenched in the humidity…my jewellery burned against bare skin…I walked in shiver and prowess, the downstairs lit only by wall sconce pillars.

His hands brought each tint to its Muse, his naked back etched into the dim flames, masking out his stature. You found Her, he whispered, back still to me, still immersed in his latest vision. I tiptoed across the room to press against him, arms reaching around his hips to slither up his chest. I only reached the nape of his neck – I’m ready to eat- he put down the oils and wiped off his hands.

He twisted around, held my arms grasping into him, digging into him, settled hard against my own firm hold. His eyes bore into mine – You’re alive, he mouthed, staring without much blinking. I pressed my tongue against the back of my top teeth, meeting his stare, my fingers slowly absorbing the lines of his throat………

Can I refuse his erection? Can it take second place?

Illumination

She has come - as with every inch I feel him at a single touch, so I do with Her. The blue illumination is present - the glow pierces the black - She has alit and stands within the sacred space I have tried to provide. She is what I felt when I touched him - the absolute epitome of the essences as unmarred by any ridiculous psyche cases.

A poker runs down from my throat to my heart, burning the reality and ridding me of any straying debris. I am hit in a hailstorm, my skin is reshaped, smoothed out...I am no longer a structured human form - an outline maybe, elongating without any restraints. The wolves remain, circling their Mistress, eager for another jaunt, eager to find another leader standing amidst their plays.

She has reached inside me and turned a key - unblocking - unlocking - emitting what should be emitted - instead of closing my neck, She lets it dilate. No shame in blood from any opening. An it harm none - it's not injury when part of the journey, when it's for improvement.

I acquiesce willingly. This thirst is unsolicited.

Shifting

The incense brought to mind the open fields leading to the wood mazes that they dominated - the terrains they wrote their songs on - when the Night stayed a faithful lover, when the Moon whispered erotic poetry, when the howling predated all segmented languages.

All four feet played with silver lit landscapes...each downy hair carried the evening's pledge to keep Her alive, each pup striving for Her general accompaniment, to warm Her and exchange trade secrets. They fed in the Dark as the Dark toyed with ways to blend their DNA with the lowly humans, test marketing it with the most exalted of the lot - the shamen.

I wish I could experience that shift to bring me closer to Her. I hate the wall that always springs at the tell-tale breakthrough.

He said I could have whatever I wanted for dinner - no debate, no doubts. Time to feed the hunger, quench the thirst...time to soothe my spirit. Tonight I could taste the emotions as they seeped forth in their true manners, returning to pure states of matter, purified from the mold that had contaminated their original intentions.

Muddled versions, he informed, always so, when beset by the dregs people chose to choke on. Caught at the precise second of escape, one could partake in a drug unknown to most, a high unlike any poor chemical substitute. Break through one trap to have the strength and knowledge to raze all others - that was the bonus lesson.

While waiting, I sat in the dark close to the bed, awaiting Her answer - was this enough? I could feel the wolves in the room with me, their fuzzy sinewy bodies enveloping my lap....breasts.....feet.....My neck ached, a wetness begging for attention. I felt their tongues licking at it, stimulating the hot well - adding their thoughts to mine. I smelled their own hunger- the itch from the Night sky represented so well in their silken movements.

She was stirring. I smelled the meat on their teeth - bits still dissolving - particles releasing the mental trips that had bound them to each person. The incense died out. The flames lowered. She was spinning within the wolf pack. They were bringing Her forth.

Once There Were Wolves

There used to be wolves in the city. They ran alongside the Indian tribes who revered them and taught them Nature's magicks. Back in the time when vehicles did not pollute and kill, when the raw wisdom of these magnificent creatures meant something.

Did I have to follow the ensuing political wars and invasions? Did I have to sleep for another turn of the Wheel? Why was I not spared for the carousel? Why couldn't I be a part of the band from eternal beginning to impossible finality?

I hear them howl, hear their plaintive songs in tune with the sage brushed drum beats....as they called Eagle and Fox, Willow Tree and Spring Lake, I called Hecate and Pan, and everyone communed harmoniously...The glory before the bigwigs...to bottle that for the salt sprinkling - that is all part of deciphering the passwords. What's left of the parks still don't convey what I once walked upon, what zillions of returned souls may not even remain cognizant as being their homeland.

Does he know the wolves? The woods that enticed and entranced and proved to be an energy far beyond mundane weaknesses? Does he know how it feels to have once run unfettered, to burn for the burn that signified a life controlled by nothing, a detour into what this planet truly represented?

It Once Rained Upon Me

I lived in the rain. ages ago, I ran naked in it...It never relented, and neither did I. It pounded into my skin, whipped into my hair, and stung my face. My nipples always hardened as the drops smacked down...I slept in caverns embraced and caressed by wolves, their downy fur cinched around me till dream land pulled away for another foray into the storm. Passages never weighed much - no need when the lands spewed alive, and conceptualized eclipses held no meaning...

I know he was with me too. Who he is now, what he is, no clues remain as to his appearance, essence, or mannerisms, but I know he was there. I know I did not drink in the rain alone, did not canvas and journey the landscape unaccompanied. The Earth and I shared blood...shed blood...we fed off of each other in a time unconstrained. There was snow that tickled sleet and hail that taught and tested resilience.

Never sun though. Warmth in a light that defined black, washed in a milk bath cream surfacing just enough to destabilize pitch totality. It was the time when everything had a pulse for the taking, eager to threaten and tempt and eliminate and capture, a jumble of pro-active intensity.

I knew then that I was happy. Fulfilled. Confident and insatiable in the bareness of the world. We fucked in the mud and gnawed on our meals atop stones uncarved by human branding.